Desmond 8 Months

Oh Rufus, look what you're doing to us. I don't even know how to begin to explain the feelings that have been plaguing my body for the last few weeks. And I mean that pretty literally. I am physically exhausted from managing of the stress and excitement and frustration and love. Rufus, dear infuriating Rufus, has not been the cause of nearly all of those feelings. The totality of the blame can certainly not be placed on his shoulders. Besides, look at that sweet face!

The question that comes up in response to every proposed solution, however, is, "But what do we do with Rufus?" Do we give him up? Yes, he's too wild around the baby and will hurt him someday. No, we love him and he's part of our family. Do we board him long term? Hmmm, $$$$. Do we know someone who can keep him for a while? No! That dog is crazy! We can't ask someone to take on that kind of insanity, at least not if we want to still be on speaking terms when it's over. But Grandpa Weilhammer wants him. Well, at this point we aren't going to say no to anyone who's offering, but I hope they will let us know the second they can't take it anymore.

Rufus must go because we are moving in with Uncle Nick and Aunt Twyla on January 30th 2010. Will you ever sleep again? Will I? I am ridiculously grateful that we have family so willing to help us without a second thought. It's going to be rough, though- probably on everyone. I'm pretty sure you will cry at night for quite some time, since your crib will now be in our room. You have to sleep at some point, but you are a stubborn little bastard and I have personally seen you perform some amazing feats of wakefulness. And that was in your early days.

We have a house. A beautiful house with ugly carpet and a stream that runs through the backyard with foxes frolicking about. We cannot actually have our house until we sell the Palm Bay house. This stupid house that we once loved is now the source of all of our misery and most of my recent tears of late, which have been many. It will sell someday, probably for much less than we paid for it.

Your father keeps telling me that we have it good. No one is dying. Everyone is healthy and loved (especially you). Money problems are good problems to have. I know he's right. I know that the terrible, horrible, heart-wrenching events in Haiti should give me some perspective on our current situation. I guess I'm self-centered or egotistical or some other synonym of those words, but I tend to let my own problems affect me and I don't think that's unreasonable. I hate it when people tell me to think of all the people who are worse off. You lost your leg in a car accident? Think of the people who lost both legs, wouldn't that be awful? People's problems are their problems and they have a right to worry about them.

He IS right, though. We are lucky. We have you. And each other. And people who love us. Ultimately, that is all we need in the world. I just wish I didn't like money so damn much.

You are going to be sorely missed here in Southeast Florida. I have massive feelings of guilt about taking you away. You aren't really doing anything new at the moment. Maybe you're too preoccupied with exploration to focus on skill acquisition. Or maybe you're holding it all in until we get to Tallahassee to play some cruel joke on Grandma and Grandpa when they miss out.

I don't know, but you're a funny little thing. You make ridiculous noises and you laugh when you see me or your father enter a room. Slapping things is one of your favorite hobbies- table tops, chairs, faces, chests, dogs. Anything but drums, really. You waved yesterday!!!!!! How did I forget that? You waved bye-bye to KK and PaPa. New. New. New. New as of last night. I am a terrible mother.

You are appallingly good in restaurants. We take you with us everywhere. As long as you have Cheerios and can chew on the edge of the table, you're a little angel. We have probably left behind us a wake of bitter busboys who had to try to get Cheerio dust out of carpet.

I left you for (good god!) 8 hours last weekend to go to a wedding. Grandma says you were perfectly content. You took a bottle for the first time! You don't need me at all! This is a completely depressing new development. I missed you so much!

Grandma is on her way over so I'm gonna end this. I know everything will be ok. Although, by the time all this is over you might just have to call your aunt and uncle Saint Twyla and Saint Nick. Or perhaps Duke and Duchess....

Hot Chocolate Layer Cake with Homemade Marshmallows

I wish I could have gotten better pictures, but guests were arriving and I had to click fast. This cake is ridiculous. I think it's rich and I hate it when people say things like that. I couldn't finish my piece!

I know it's January 7th. It took me until now to work up the motivation to type a recipe of this caliber. I promise it doesn't disappoint. Plus- homemade marshmallows?- what! what!

Here it is:
Hot Chocolate Layer Cake with Homemade Marshmallows

Ingredients For the cake: 3/4 cup Unsalted butter more for the pans 3 cups Unbleached alll-purpose flour more for the pans 3/4 cup Canola oil 4 1/2 ounces Bittersweet chocolate finely chopped 3 cups Granulated sugar 2 1/4 ounces Natural unsweetened cocoa powder 3 large Eggs at room temperature 2 tablespoon pure vanilla extract 2 1/2 teaspoon Baking soda 1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt For the Frosting: 2 1/2 cups Heavy cream 3 ounces Unsalted butter 1 Vanilla bean split lengthwise and seeds scraped out 6 ounce Bittersweet chocolate finely chopped 2 cups Granulated sugar 6 ounces Natural unsweetened cocoa powder more for dusting 1/2 cup Lyle's Golden Syrup 1/4 teaspoon Kosher salt For the Marshmallows: 3 1/4 ounce envelopes Unflavored powdered gelatin 2 cups Granulated sugar 1 cup Light corn syrup 1/2 teaspoon Kosher salt 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 cup plus 2 Tbs Confectioners Sugar more as needed

Instructions
Make the Cake
Position racks in the bottom and top thirds of the oven and heat the oven to 350.

Butter three 9x2-inch round cake pans and line each with a parchment round. Butter the parchment, then dust with flour and knock out teh excess.

In a 3-quart saucepan, combine the butter, oil, chopped chocolate, and 1 cup water. Heat over medium heat until melted.

In a large bowl, whisk the flour, sugar, and cocoa powder. Pour the hot chocolate mixture into the sugar mixture and whisk until combined.

Whisk in the eggs, one at a time, then whisk in teh buttermilk, vanilla, baking soda, and salt. Divide teh batter evenly among teh prepared pans.

Set two pans on the top rack and the third on the lower rack. stagger the pans on the oven racks so the no pan is directly over another. Bake, swapping and rotating teh pans' positions after 20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool on racks for 10 minutes. Invert the cakes onto the racks, remove teh parchment, and cool completely.

Make the Frosting
In a 4-quart saucepan over low heat, combine the cream, butter, and vanilla bean and seeds and stir until the butter is melted. Remove the vanilla bean and whisk in teh chopped chocolate until melted. Whisk in the sugar, cocoa powder, syrup, and salt until smooth- be sure the cocoa powder dissolves completely. Pour into a 9x13 inch pan and freeze until firm, about 2 hours, or refrigerate overnight.

Make the Marshmallows
Pour 3/4 cup cold water into the bowl of a stand mixer. Sprinkle the gelatin over teh water. Attach the bowl to the mixer and fiit it with the whisk attachment.

Clip a candt thermometer to a 3-quart saucepan; don't let the tip of the thermometer touch teh bottom of the pan. In teh saucepan, boil teh sugar, corn syrup, salt, and 3/4 cup water over medium heat without stirring until it reaches 234 degrees to 235 degrees, about 10 minutes. With the mixer on low speed, pour the hot sugar mixture into the gelatin in a slow, thin stream.

Add the vanilla, carefully increase the speed to high, and beat until the mixture has thickened and cooled, about 5 minutes (the bottom of the bowl should just be warm to teh touch). Line a 9x13-inch pan with foil, leaving an overhang on 2 sides. Sift 1 Tbs. of the confectioners' sugar into the bottom of the pan, then pour the marshmallow mixture into the pan and sift another 1 Tbs. confectioners' sugar on top. Let sit at room temperature until set, at least two hours.

Assemble the Cake
Remove the frosting from the freezer or refrigerator. Transfer to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and beat on medium speed for 2 minutes to soften. Change to a whisk attachment and beat at medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Put a cake layer on a flat serving platter or a cake stand lined with strips of of waxed paper to keep it clean while icing. Top the layer with 1 1/2 cups of teh frosting, spreading it evenly with an offset spatula to the cake's edge. Repeat with another cake layer and 1 1/2 cups frosting. Top with the last cake layer.

Put 1 1/2 cups of teh frosting in a small bowl. With an offset spatula, spread this frosting in a thin layer over the top and sides of teh cake. Refrigerate the cake until teh frosting firms enough to seal in teh crumbs, 20 to 30 minutes.

Spread the remaining frosting in a smooth layer over the top and sides of the cake. If necessary, you can rewhip the remaining frosting to loosen and lighten it. Remove the waxed paper strips.

Use the foil overhang to lift the marshmallow from the pan. Using a knife that has been dipped in cold water, cut along the edge of teh marshmallow to release it from the foil. Transfer to a cutting board and remove the foil. Put teh remaining 1 cup confectioners' sugar in a bowl. Cut the marshmallow into cubes of different sizes, from 1/4 to 3/4 inch (you will need to continue to dip teh knife in cold water). The marshmallows will be very sticky- dip teh cut edges in confectioners' sugar to make them easier to handle. As you work, toss a few cubes at a time in the sugar to coat, then shake in a strainer to remove teh excess. Mound teh marshmallows on top of teh cake (you'll need only a third to half of them). Sift some cocoa powder over teh marshmallows.

Make Ahead
You can bake, cool, wrap, and store the cake layers at room temperature for up to 1 day or freeze for up to one month. You can refrigerate the frosting for up to 3 days. The assembled cake can be refrigerated for up to 4 hours (refrigerate before serving). Wrapped well, leftover marshmallows keep at room temperature for up to 1 month.

Yields: 16 Servings


Fine Cooking Dec/Jan 2010