You are 1 month old today! So far your mensaversary has been difficult. You do not want to nap and I have work to do. Tomorrow I will bake a cake for your grandfather's 70th birthday party this weekend. You haven't met him or Katherine yet, but you've met almost everyone else. (Including your grandmother (who I am incapable of referring to as Ghandi or however you spell it... seriously wtf?), who flew down from Tennessee and spent the entire week being angry with me. Ask me what happened someday when you're old enough that I let you read this. Hopefully, it will be so distant and ridiculous that I won't remember a thing and you'll never know.)What a month! I'm so glad there's been an ebb to the parade of people coming to bear witness to your cuteness. I was so afraid before you were born that there would be so much chaos and so many people wanting to take you away from me that your father and I wouldn't have a chance to get to know you and learn how to be a family. But, my darling, I have to say that it really doesn't matter yet because there's not that much to know.
Here is what I have learned about you in one month: You cry and poop a lot. A lot. You enjoy being naked as much as possible. You can hold your head up and have been able to do so since the day you were born, leading everyone to believe that you are extremely gifted. You can half roll over, which only I have seen and no one else believes. Your feet are extremely large. You smile on what I'm pretty fucking sure is purpose ( you are not allowed to say fuck until you're at least 15- later if the time comes and it still doesn't seem right). You have more gas than anyone I've ever met ever. I love you.
We are, however, definitely a family- you, Dad, Rufus, and me. Does it look normal to you to not put that comma before the 'and'? It's a fairly new rule (15 years?) which I refuse to follow because it looks absolutely ridiculous to me: you, Dad, Rufus and me. If that looks right to you, you are indeed a child of the modern world.
You've gained a net total of 2 lbs since you were born. Newborn clothes that were huge on you two weeks ago fit you well now and pretty soon won't fit at all. It amazes me that you were ever smaller than you are now and that I will never see you that small again.
Now I need you to let me sleep. Please. Four or five hours in a row might do the trick. I am giving you three months to accomplish this task and then I'm sending you back.
Love,
Mom
